Anonymous asked: Awhile ago I was finger popped and there was a decent amount of blood after. Since then I've had sex twice although both times didn't last long it was still sex, and have been fingered. A few days ago I got really intensely fingered and bled a lot. It really freaked me out because I've popped my cherry, been fingered, had sex, but still bled when I was fingered that time. That's not normal, right?
- Livvy
No, that is completely normal.
You haven’t popped your cherry because it’s a common misconception, that “first time” thing doesn’t happen at all. Many people don’t bleed on their first time of penetration because they get the foreplay right. Let me explain:
The hymen is NOT a membrane that COVERS the vaginal opening. It is a small, crescent shaped membrane that covers the bottom portion of the vaginal opening (allowing things in and out - think of how else you would get a tampon in there, or how menstrual blood could get out if you’d never been penetrated). It covers more or less in different girls, but very rarely covers the whole thing, which requires medical attention. It can be stretched, due to it being made of elastic tissue. Now, that membrane does 100% not have to be broken the first time you are penetrated / the first time you have sex. It does have to be stretched but this is achievable through foreplay, relaxation and lubrication. Many girls bleed on their “first time” or first few times because they do not have this information and their bodies are not yet used to that membrane being stretched out. It is not massively harmful to bleed, but obviously it would be more enjoyable for you if you did not bleed.
With time, the hymen and vaginal muscle walls return to their original position (because they are made of elastic tissues). This explains 2 things:
- you do NOT lose your hymen after sex, it stays with your for the rest of your life unless severely damaged by trauma caused by violent rape or problematic childbirth
- you do NOT get ‘loose’ after you have had sex, and your vagina does not stay wide after arousal for more than a few hours. Unless you are shoving something huge up there every day, the width of your vaginal canal is not changing.
With time, as the body gets used to penetration and “learns” how to have sex, it is less common for girls to bleed. But if you engage in sexual activity when you are not relaxed enough, not lubricated enough or haven’t had enough foreplay, then the hymen may tear and bleed. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your 1st, 10th or 1000th time being penetrated, that may still happen if the hymen hasn’t been adequately stretched and lubricated.
This also goes for rough sexual activity, such as you describe being “intensely fingered”, as there may be friction against the hymen or vaginal muscles walls, it is an area of the body with a very rich blood supply so even a small breakage of the skin/ scratch from friction or your partner’s fingernails is likely to cause bleeding to some extent.
I hope this helps, and remember the key points: relaxation, lubrication, communication and practice :)
