Anonymous asked: I've (F) been hooking up with this guy for the past few months, about once a month. I've given him head a bunch of times, yet nothing in return. I've mentioned it twice - the first time after I had gone down on him, and the second in foreplay. The first time he said "okay, next time" and forgot about it. The second, he said his past girlfriends hadn't enjoy it/ he wasn't good at it, and most girls don't ask for oral once he uses his fingers. How can I get him to return the favor?
- Livvy
Okay, this is something I have a really split opinion on. It’s never okay to make someone do a sexual activity they’re not happy with. But it also seems really unfair that someone would be the taker all the time and never the giver.
If this guy is just a “hook up”, you can’t force him to do anything, that would be wrong, just like if a guy pressured you into giving head, that would be wrong. So you can’t “get him” to do anything.
But, it depends how “against it” he is. It sounds like he’s had his confidence knocked in this department by other girls, not just that he hates giving oral, so maybe he could be persuaded. If he says “My past girlfriends didn’t like it”, say that you want to make your own mind up about it, you’re not them and can pass your own judgement. If he says he’s not good at it, say that you’ll help him. A little communication and guidance is all it takes to make a good time, perfect. Because if you can feel what’s good and convey that to him, he feels comfortable doing the same, and then you’re both winners.
As for “most girls don’t ask for oral”, that’s a rubbish excuse and please feel free to tell him so! Haha, you’re not other girls, you’re not most girls, and comparing you to past sexual partners to try and put you off is not a good move. Every girl enjoys different things, has their own turn-ons, just as every guy does.
